Progress and Brokenness

I know, I know, it's been six months since we last blogged. Ok, guilty as charged! Since June a lot has gone on, so I will try to hit on that briefly, but I mainly wanted to talk about what God has been doing in me personally.

It's hard to believe that it has been almost 18 months since I quit my job at Pinnacle Airlines to pursue missionary aviation with Jennifer and our kids. God has been extremely faithful throughout this whole process, though it has been pretty tough for most of it. When we started out, I had 18 months of mechanic school and Jenn had two Bible classes she had to take. Well, now I am down to my last 2 months of school and Jenn has one more class to finish, as she just finished her first class where she studies Ephesians and Colossians. Which, of course, she made all A's! My last day of class is March 26th, which at that time I will be a fully certified A&P aircraft mechanic.

THe kids continue to bring us more joy (and sometimes headaches) than ever. Hannah will turn 5 on February 10, Cate turned 3 back in November, and can you believe that our son Caleb is already almost 8 months!? It really is amazing how time flies. Hannah played her first soccer season in the fall and played great! Cate has also just begun her first dance lessons and is absolutely loving it. Meanwhile, we can't keep enough food in Caleb's belly! That boy could eat all day.

Jenn and I are excited about the next phase in our journey to overseas missions. Our timetable has changed slightly, however. We have to go through a Technical Evaluation with MAF, which is a two week event where they evaluate my flight and maintenance skills, and have extensive interviews. We were hoping to accomplish this in late spring or early summer, but MAF's schedule was not matching ours. So, we have elected to do the evaluation in October. Looking forward this may be a blessing because this will give me an opportunity to hone my maintenance skills, since I have no experience fixing airplanes. We know that God is sovereign through all of this, so we are confident that what we at first saw as a scheduling conflict will turn out to be the way God wanted it to be.

Now you might be curious as to why I included brokenness in this blog title. What follows is nothing more than a conglomeration of my thoughts and feelings on what the last 16 months has been like. Just wanted to give a disclaimer!

One thing I never imagined was how hard the process and journey would be. I had heard from other missionaries from MAF that the prep and training before leaving home was the hardest time for them. I'm not sure what the future holds for us, but I can definitely agree that this has been the toughest season of life for Jenn and I. Even tonight, as I was driving home God broke me in a way I haven't been broken for a long time. Lately I have really been feeling inadequate and useless when it comes to God's plan for my life. These feelings have stunted my growth spiritually at times and affected me in many other ways. With trying to balance school, work, a wife, kids, family, church, small group community, and my walk with the Lord I have had to tell myself to just suck it up and push on. Well, after months of pushing myself to the brink and trying to do it myself, I broke. I told God that I couldn't do this anymore. I told Him that I wanted things to be the way they used to be. I missed my old job. I missed the comfort of knowing I was doing something I was good at. The challenge I have been faced with since I began school is learning a trade, aircraft maintenance, that I'm not passionate about not do I feel that I am any good at it. I am not mechanically inclined, so it's hard to force myself to think in ways that don't come naturally. I have had to face the fact that I'm not good at everything! God has used this to show me how prideful I am. I like to be able to do something right the first time, and if it doesn't work out that way, I get really frustrated. Right or wrong, that's just me. I'm learning to become more patient, albeit very slowly! (Slow according to me, who wants patience now!) So, being surrounded my a bunch of guys in class that think, work, and operated very well mechanically is very hard for me because I'm just not like that. Of course I've learned a lot and hopefully will continue to, but every time I'm working on a project in class, all I can think about is how I'd much rather be flying! Again, just being honest here. However, I've learned that God is much less concerned about my personal comfort level than He is about molding me and shaping me according to His will that will ultimately bring Him glory, not me! Because let's be honest, we all want to be worshiped. I want everyone to see how good I am and compliment me on what a good pilot I am. This attitude reeks like a cesspool!! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! But, my flesh is constantly rearing its ugly head. Tonight, God really showed me how prideful and self centered I am. There are tons of guys in my class who do not know the Lord, and here I am thinking about all the things I can do to help people notice me so I can feel good about myself. God allowed me to see myself for who i really am. A broken, selfish, prideful, and ruined sinner. It was hard to look at myself honestly because I knew I wouldn't like what I saw. After God showed me what my sin looked like and how much He hated it, He allowed me to reflect on Jesus. I could barely speak as I thought about how God allowed His son to take my sin, filth, and crap (for lack of a better word) on himself so I could be clean. The gospel never gets old! I need a daily reminder of the sacrifice that was paid for my sin. As painful as it was to have God reveal my sin to my face. But, for someone who has tried to hold it all together by himself for months, i could not have been more grateful! I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted. I know the future holds more challenges and trials, but I pray that God will give me the grace to face these trials with joy.

I hope that the Lord can use what i've said in this post to encourage you. Let there be no misunderstanding that I've got it together or have things figured out. Quite the opposite actually. But, I have the confidence that God will use my weaknesses and my depravity for His glory to the ends of the earth. Be encouraged that no matter what baggage you may carry, Jesus is standing there ready to ease your burden.

Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30

Just a little announcement!

Have been working on these birth announcement cards from Shutterfly. So easy and fun to do! I even had a gift card that I received for free when I bought something in a Motherhood Maternity store several months ago!

Photo Card

View the entire collection of cards.

Our Family of Five!

Caleb Andrew Taylor is here! He was born on May 25, 2011 at 6:19 am weighing 8 lbs. 1 oz. What a crazy delivery this was, and we are still amazed at how quickly he came! Praise the Lord that He is in control of everything and that everything is done in His perfect timing.

This labor/delivery went so quickly! I was planning to have a natural birth again this time (God willing!) so I began asking God awhile back if this labor could be short. Well, he certainly answered that prayer! Caleb was born just 4 minutes after we ran into the hospital room! I awoke around 3:15 am with a contraction and laid in the bed until I had another one, about 8 minutes later. At that point I was awake and thinking this could be it! I got out of bed and checked my email for a little bit before waking Andrew around 3:45 am. I told him my contractions were still sporadic and not too painful and encouraged him to go back to sleep for a little bit. He started to close his eyes, but thank goodness he decided he should get up and take a shower. My contractions continued to increase in strength and duration but not in frequency, so we kept waiting at home. Andrew's mom came over early to stay here with the girls, and I finished packing my bag and cleaning up a little around the house! We finally decided to leave for the hospital close to 6 am, and I had 2 long contractions back to back before I could get in the car. Once the contractions stopped I jumped in the car and Andrew quickly sped to the hospital. Methodist Germantown hospital is about 25 minutes from our house, but Andrew got us there in 10 minutes! The entire drive I felt like I needed to push and was fighting it---that was tough! Andrew was driving so fast, and I was just praying that we didn't have a wreck. I was also debating whether or not to ask him to pull over and call 911! The only thing I could say to him was, "When we get to the hospital, tell them I have to push now!" I think that scared him and he started driving even faster! And I just kept praying that God would keep Caleb safe and hold him in until we made it to the hospital. I kept visualizing the hospital bed and focusing on that.

Finally we made it to the hospital! Andrew pulled up to the front entrance and ran to get me a wheelchair while I pulled myself out of the car and started to walk in, clinging to the wall and trying to breathe. Andrew came flying around the corner with the wheelchair and raced with me to the admissions desk. The admissions lady was trying to ask us 4,000 questions quickly while I was practically ripping the arm off the wheelchair, panting, humming, and then whistling (for some reason whistling really helped but probably sounded crazy as it echoed all through the lobby of the hospital!). Then the admissions lady asked, "Is she having any contractions?" I almost came out of the chair and choked her---but I was afraid if I moved that the baby would come flying out. Finally they let us back to the rooms and a very kind pediatrician opened all the security doors for us as we ran through the halls! We flew to the room and I practically jumped onto the bed. I'm not sure the nurses believed that I really needed to push until they checked me and found that I was 10 cm, 100% effaced. Then they flew into action and the on call doctor came running! 1 push later and Caleb arrived screaming!

We couldn't believe how quickly this labor/delivery went! And then we realized that we almost didn't make it to the hospital. I think we were both in shock at how quickly everything occurred and how gracious God was in allowing Caleb to be healthy and safe. This was definitely a delivery that I won't forget! We are so thankful for our family and all they have done to help us during this time. We definitely couldn't make it without them, and we are so fortunate that our parents love their grandkids! And I definitely have to brag on Andrew--he was wonderful and such a help to me. He was my voice when I couldn't say a word and was such an encouragement! His quick driving got us to the hospital just in time. What a wonderful husband I have--what a blessing from the Lord. He is an amazing dad and always puts the kids and me before himself.

We are enjoying life as a family of 5 now and just trying to figure out a new normal. The girls just love their little buddy and can't keep their hands off him! The Lord has been so gracious to us, and our prayer is that Hannah, Cate, and Caleb will grow to love Him with all their heart, soul, and mind.

Pressing On

I told you I wouldn't wait another six months to do another post! I am actually about 2 weeks tardy with this post, but things have been crazy around here, as usual. However, I still wanted to give everyone an update on the latest with the Taylor family.

Not a whole lot has really changed since my last post. I won't detail my schedule out for you again like I did last time, so if you're not sure of our daily schedule you can go back and read my last post. Really, we have just been in school, work, and family mode lately. Hannah and Caitlyn are growing up faster and faster by the week and Jenn and I can barely keep up! We have also officially began the countdown until our son is born! Jenn is officially 36 weeks now and ready to get this baby out! Her due date is June 3. Please pray for her as she completes the last couple weeks of this pregnancy. She is still feeling extremely sick and nauseated like she has been the last 8 months. She is one tough girl, but she is tired of feeling sick. I will never claim to be tougher than she is! I would be the biggest baby if I had to go what she goes through on a daily basis. Some of you might remember that our oldest daugher, Hannah, was born at 36 weeks, so we know we are coming down the wire now.

I had a one week break from school last week and was able to get the room painted a nice blue color and start the preparations for the baby! With the upcoming birth, the next couple months are really going to be tough with my schedule and a full house. We would really appreciate your prayers during this time because I know the we will all be stretched to our limits.

I wanted to also take some time to thank all those who have been supporting us, through prayer and/or financially. Your support means so much to us and I can tell you that we would not be able to make it without your help. One thing I regret is that Jenn and I don't have time to meet with each of our supporters over coffee just to thank them and let them know how important they are. One day we hope to get that opportunity.

A quick update on school:
I am now in the third trimester (there are 6 total) of my mechanic school. It's hard to believe I"m almost halfway done! The class I am in now we are learning aircraft structures which consists of sheet metal, composites, and other aircraft materials that we must be familiar with when it comes to repairing part of the plane that doesn't involve the engine. So far I am enjoying it and have been making good grades in all of my classes. I will obviously have to miss some class time with the baby coming, so please pray for a healthy baby and mom!

I know this is a shorter post than normal, but I'm doing everything possible to keep our supporters and friends updated with what we are doing. Again, we thank everyone who is walking with us as we prepare to go to the nations. We will definitely be updating everyone on the baby and how that all shakes down.

One more thing I want to mention. If you have been praying or even considered supporting us financially or through prayer, we definitely want to invite you to do so. We are sponsored field partners through GMF (Global Ministries Foundation) here in Memphis. They handle all of our support finances and each gift is tax deductible. The most convenient way to give is to go to their website, www.gmfonline.org. There you will see a link to give financially. The page will then pull up a form to fill out your information with your preferred payment and when you to give. You will see a drop down menu that has all of GMF's field partners. Scroll down and you will see our name under "Taylor - Missionary Aviation Outreach".

You are each a blessing to us and we thank you for all of your encouragement and support, however that may look! May the Lord bless you and your family and we look forward to updating you soon on the new addition to our family!

A Lot Has Happened!

I want to begin this post with an apology to those who actually might read our blog. I'm sorry it has been six months since I have posted something on here. I can blame it on a combination of extreme business, laziness, and forgetfulness! I promise I will try my best to post more often from here on out. So now that that's out of the way, I will attempt to begin to explain all that has happened since September. Ok, here's it goes...

As you all know I quit my job at Pinnacle Airlines back in September and have been attending Tenn. Technology Aviation School to certify for my A&P (Airframe and Powerplant) license. It has been quite the whirlwind since I flew my last trip at the end of September. Jennifer and I both went into this new phase of life with enthusiasm, excitement, and some apprehension. I can honestly say we have experienced each of those and more. I am now just finishing my second trimester of school, there are six total. So I am already 1/3 of the way through! It really has gone by fast, even though my days are filled with busyness and exhaustion. After starting school Jenn and I knew that we couldn't continue paying our COBRA, since it was over $1,000/month! After receiving some Godly council from our teaching pastor and others, I was encouraged to get a job and work part time for insurance. I was very much against this idea because I knew that I would be gone all day, everyday, and some on the weekends. I wanted to be able to concentrate on school and be involved with different ministries as my school schedule would allow. Well, God ended up providing in an amazing way! But, not quite the way I envisioned. I applied for several part time jobs that had benefits to no avail. Then one day I called up a former student of mine from when I was a flight instructor. He is an extremely wealthy business owner and I knew he might could hook me up with a job. Keep in mind, I haven't talked to him in almost 4 years, and wasn't quite sure how he would react with me calling him up and asking for a job. Well, he ended up offering me a job on the spot and asked me to start the next day! He told me they don't offer benefits for part time employees but told me he would make an exception since he knew me. After hearing all of this on one phone conversation, I knew that God has swung this door wide open!

Now that I was a full-time student and a part-time worker, my schedule was maxed out immediately. I'll just give you a rundown of a typical day in the life of Andrew (you should feel special!). I wake up at 5am each day, spend time in the Word, eat breakfast, make my lunch, and leave for school around 6:20. I attend school from 7am-2pm, and then I head straight to work from 2:30-7pm. Whew! I never knew what people meant by there not being enough hours in the day, until now!

I have had such a range of emotions with this schedule. I have felt overwhelmed, exhausted, irritable, frustrated, and even anger over my situation. I also must insert an important note here. Jenn and I found out she was pregnant back in late September! So, this has definitely added a new dynamic to our daily lives. Oh yeah, we also found out we are having our first SON!! We are so excited, and the girls are thrilled about having a baby brother! I added this pregnancy story here to say that Jenn has also had a lot of extra things to deal with. With me being gone from 6am-7:30pm almost everyday, she has really had to pick up the load at home. So I definitely want to make clear that it's not just me that has added pressure. Also, please pray for her because she is so nauseated! It's been this way with all three of her pregnancies, and it makes it very difficult for her to take care of two kids, clean the house, grocery shop, etc., while feeling like poop. So, needless this season of life is much more difficult than we ever though it would be. But, we both understand that God is teaching us things through our circumstances that we would not have learned if our lives were easy.

We find ourselves wishing for our previous lifestyle, when I was working 3-4 days, and then having 5-6 days off in a row! It just seemed so easy then! We had a good steady paycheck, time off to do things around the house, take the kids to the park, etc. Now, we can barely keep our heads above water and are just trying to survive each day! But, while things are crazy, hectic, and time are hard, we are still confident that this is the road God has us on. It seems like we would feel the opposite, but we have received so much encouragement from family and friends and God continues to give us grace. There are days when we both feel we can't go on. But, we are reminded that God's mercies are new every morning and we ask Him to give us our daily bread. For tomorrow holds worries of its own. Again, we are confident that God is teaching us things now we would not have learned if we weren't going through these trials. Scripture teaches us to find joy in all situations. My has this been a challenge!! But, we are joyful to be taking part in expanding God's kingdom and that He is teaching us new things daily. The Lord has given me great opportunities to disciple the guys in my class. God has already opened several doors with a couple of guys and I am daily praying for fruit! Please pray for my classmate, that God would reveal himself to them and give me grace to empty myself and serve these guys.

Lastly, I wanted to bring up something that many people don't like to talk about. Money. As many of you know, we have been raising financial support since I left my job in September. God has surely provided in so many ways and we are blessed to have people supporting us financially. We are still looking for monthly supporters, however. If you would like to give and partner with us as we prepare to go overseas, we would be grateful and humbled by your participation. If you look at my previous posts, I explain how you can go about giving.

Again, I do apologize for being so tardy with this post, but here it is. I promise I will do a better job in the future! But, as it stands now, it's 10:15pm and I need to get up in less than 7 hours to do it all over again tomorrow. Pray for us to have endurance and perseverance! We are so thankful for all of you and hope to post soon! (soon meaning less than 6 months from now!)

Two Week Notice

After many months of praying and seeking the Lord's direction for our family regarding missions, the time has finally come to take action! Today I turned in my two week notice at my airline that will be effective on September 25. It is hard to believe how fast the time has crept up on us! We have been praying and seeking counsel for many months and now it is here. I only have two more trips to fly before I turn in all my manuals, charts, and ID badges. I will no longer be an airline pilot. For those on the outside looking in, our decision to quit my airline pilot job to go overseas for missions is stupid. Why would I give up a job that could potentially earn an easy six figure salary with multiple days off a month? If you had told me two years ago that this is what I would be doing, I might even have said you were crazy! But, as I was walking into the chief pilot's office today, I had an extreme sense of affirmation. I know that God is bigger than the plans I had for myself. As I was at the airport I was watching all the FedEx planes that were flying overhead, I couldn't help but go back to the days when I was so sure I would be the one flying them. I mean, that's why I got into flying wasn't it? I wanted to move up the ladder of success, make more money, have a better quality of life with ease, comfort, and security. All these things were going through my head as I was waiting for the meeting with our chief pilot. But, there was one word that was pushing all of those things out of the way....RUBBISH! Paul speaks of losses we experience in life that are gains when it comes to His kingdom in Phil. 3:7-11. All of these things are good things. But, whatever could have been my gain, I count as LOSS for His sake.

Not only did I turn in my two week notice, but I also had orientation for mechanic school that will be starting in just two and a half weeks! The actual orientation just consisted of a lot of paperwork and general information. Not that exciting...but what did excite me was realizing that this is the start of a new chapter in our family's life and a new road to venture down. I am very excited to begin school and to learn a whole new aspect of aviation. I have learned the art of flying airplanes, but now comes the challenge of being able to repair and maintain the aircraft I will be flying. I am not really the handiest person around, but I do look forward to God using His abilities to equip me.

Jennifer and I also want to thank everyone who is currently taking part in supporting us in prayer and financially during this time. Global Ministries Foundation has been a huge blessing to us by sending out all of our support letters along with handling the money that has been donated to us. We are full swing in fund raising mode now that I will be unemployed and a full time student in just two weeks. We have been blessed by the gifts of a number of people and we are praying for more. Monthly commitments are still what we need the most of, but any gift of any amount is truly appreciated and desired! We hope that you have received our support letters. (if you have not or would like to, please post a comment on here or email me and we can work that out!) We are still pretty far under our monthly budget that we posted in our letter. Just for the sake of redundancy, our monthly budget is $4000/month. Right now in just monthly gifts we are only about 25% funded. We have received one time gifts that are very helpful as well for things such as school tuition, books, and tools. The one time gifts will be committed to items such as school costs and flight currency. Jennifer and I do want to ask you to partner with us financially if you are able. We also want to stress that we are not just out soliciting people for cash so we can ease by. We want people to invest what they can in what God is doing through our family. Also, the need will only become greater at this point. As I mentioned, our budget now is $4000/month. Once we are accepted into MAF as missionaries, that number will go up to $6500/month. So, the needs we have now are less than they will be. We know that raising support can be uncomfortable for people, heck, it is for us, but we know that it is necessary for us. We also want to be humble in the process too. We understand not all people can give and money is definitely tight for a lot of people now with job losses and economic climate.

Lastly, we want to be available to talk to you about our ministry. If you are the least bit interested or have question about what we are doing, we want to be at your disposal. We want to be gracious to those who give and those who don't or cannot. To be blunt though, we do need your support! Would you pray about becoming a financial partner with us? God has brought us to this point, and now we are confident that He will call others to take part in it as well. If you are willing and able to give, please contact us by email at: ajtaylor7@gmail.com or by phone: 901-497-1620. Thanks again to everyone who is praying for us and we look forward to updating you soon once school starts.

Grace and Peace,

Andrew

Letters are out!

I want to start this post with an apology for being so tardy in updating what's going on with us! Things have been quite busy around here with being out of town, work, and trying to assemble everything for GMF to get our support letters out. We are now in the beginning of our transition phase from a normal working class family to a family entering into full time ministry living off of raised support that God will provide. I have to be frank, it was a lot easier to think about this transition last year when it was still 9 months away. Well, now we are just shy of two months before I begin aircraft mechanic school! I guess it's time to put our money where our mouth is, as the phrase goes.

God is definitely still teaching us new things each and every day that encourages us in this journey that we are on. I recently met with a missionary from the MIddle East and he had some great advice. One thing he said that really struck me was the notion of being self sufficient. Throughout this process I have always thought of us as being self sufficient when it comes to income. You know, going to work, depositing paychecks, shopping for food, etc. He completely humbled me by saying that no one is really self sufficient in ANY way! If this economy has shown us anything, it is that no one is self sufficient and though you may have a job today, tomorrow you may be unemployed. I say all of this because God has made it known to us that we have never been self sufficient, and as we trust in Him to meet our needs, He will provide like He always has (even when I did have a job).

As the title of this post indicates, GMF has now sent out our ministry and support letters! This is a very exciting time for us! We are looking forward to seeing God raise up supporters who will join us in the Lord's mission of reconciling all peoples and nations to himself. The process has been challenging at times, but very rewarding as well. For those of you receiving the letter, there will be a brief introduction of GMF and the Missionary Aviation Outreach (MAO) that Richard Hamlet has put in place for our ministry. The letter that Jenn and I wrote is included as well. We have included a personal and a ministry budget that will enable us to continue in ministry. The personal budget is more of day to day expenses such as house payment, insurance, food, and other miscellaneous costs. The ministry budget is geared more to the expenses for school, tools I will need to buy, books, and flight currency. Some may wonder why I need flight currency while I'm in school. Well, since I will be a pilot/mechanic with MAF, I don't need to lose any flight skills that I have since I will be flying most days on the field. Flying about twice a month will keep me up to speed. Raising support is definitely not something that Jenn and are used to, but we hope and pray that you will consider partnering with us during this process. Some people might be more hesitant to give because we are not leaving for overseas immediately, but one thing we have to explain is that this type of missionary work takes much more technical training than most other ministries. Missionary aviation works together with other ministries and helps mobilize and facilitate missions, but the act of becoming a missionary pilot takes a lot of training and time to do it.

As people are getting the letters in the mail our main prayer is that God will stir their hearts for God's mission for His people. Of course we hope that people will give out of the thankfulness of their hearts, but more importantly that God will be glorified! Also, if you are reading this blog and have not received a letter and would like to then please email me your name and address at: ajtaylor7@gmail.com.

Know that Jenn and I are praying for you all and are humbled by your interest in what God is doing in our family! Please let us know if there is any way we can serve you as well.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us run with endurance the race that has been set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith; who for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross, despised the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God" - Hebrews 12:1-2